The Gang Runs Wild!
by ClaytonsBaby
Summary: A collection of skits ranging from completely nuts to sweet. QueenBeth2 is original creator and my partner in crime.
1. Default Chapter

Quick explanation:  
  
The characters are.  
  
QB-Queen BethA cameo of the original creator of the Queen Beth Skits. We probably have over 100 now, but anyway, she's the overall ruler of Zaferon. BZ-El BzethioQB's clone-except evil. Watch out, she's the mistress of disaster! C-Chibi-QB's second attempt at creating a clone. Small, about 5 years old, very, very hyper. A-Aly-That's me! The counterpart who helped her launch the skits into a campaign. Believe me, I'm one of the ones who's always getting into trouble!!!! Am-Amit-Marie's husband, who is just nuts. M-Marie-Amit's wife, who is practical and perfectionistic and all-knowing. D-Dhani-Aly's ex-boyfriend and ex-fiancèe who is as hyper as Chibi is. A lot of fights start with him around. S-Sara-Aly's best friend. Likes to kick people's ass. Currently married to Inuyasha. Um, anything wrong with that? SS-Sesshomaru-QB's husband. Overall hottie man. From the Inuyasha series. Inu-Inuyasha-Sara's husband who really likes to start shit with Dhani. Watch out, all, he's a-comin'! Ka-Kagome-Sweet girl. Just don't make her tell you to sit. K-Kristi-Princess of Zaferon, created by QB.  
  
And with this, may the wildness begin! 


	2. Catfight

Okay-this was written by my friend Sara and include the rest of the letter. I don't own Inuyasha so BITE MY SHINY METAL ASS! -Aly  
  
TO: princessaly@eudoramail.com FROM: sahelu2002@eudoramail.com SUBJECT: Sesshomaru! MESSAGE: All right, so I figured I'd go ahead and do a Beth and ramble on for a good bit of time and then write a skit, just for fun, I mean come on I am so freaking bored-sitting on my bootay on the bus driving from Orebrö to Sjesmanns. What else is there to do? Amit is snoring, I just can't believe it but he is.And Dhani is being a whiner, go figure, and MARIE WILL NOT SHUT UP HER STUPID CHATTER ABOUT WHATEVER IT IS SHE IS CHATTING ABOUT. SS: Dreaaaaamy B: No dreamy SS: purty B: What's she got that I don't SS: Long hair B: So SS: Green eyes B: SO???? S: Hi Sesshomaru. SS: H-h-hi. B: PAWS OFF SESSHY SS: Noo B: Seriously dude don't even go there S: C'mon Beth lighten up I just said hi B: Hands off. Not kidding. S: Whatever. D: Uh oh Am: Meeza feelie a fighty coming and stuff M: Please boys let's keep the baby talk to a minimum shall we I simply cannot stand this A: Holy crap (S is seriously flirting with SS) SS: Uhhhhh B: Get ur filthy paws off him S: Lighten up. C'mon, Sess, want some-(breathy)-lime? SS: Uhhhhh B: I said GET OFF MY SESSHY!!!! Lunge lunge, pound pound (S and B dissolve into a cloud of dust) Am: Catfight D: nooies nooies nooies M: Babytalk please I beg of you A: Someone do something someone stop them D: Eepies eepies eepies eepies eepies eepies eepies (on and on and on and on and - oh you get the idea) (Hey that's a good line I mean come on he's saying it over and over right as I'm writing this. Talk about a child, sheesh!) B: Die! SS: Bethy darling S: pound pound SS: O_O Hello Am: Helpie helpie helpie helpie (again this one goes on forever except he's shrieking in between) M: Hushie hushie hushie A: Holy Goddess S: Dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee B: No you S: You B: you S: You B: you S: YOUUUUUUUUU!!!! kick pound kick pound Am: goshies goshies goshies thumb pops into mouth M: eye roll here we go again B: DIE DIE DIE big kick roundhouse kick and hard punch S: Owwwwww Falls back B: Ha Triumphant smile Am: Wow Beth won A: Doesn't she usually? D: Not sure don't you remember the time she tried to kill you and you accidentally cut her with your athame Silence cricket silence A: That was abrupt. B: Victory!!! S: Owwwwwwwiiiiies.  
  
END  
  
Hehehehe well here you go that is my skit for ya call it the victory of someone who really needs to get a life from writing all these skits. Hold up I think I'm talking about all of us here but anyway. I guess that's the whole thing. Hope to hear from you darling. Don't forget to tell Beth that she is the coolest skitwriter this planet has ever seen and OH YEAH almost forgot your package is at your apartment they gave up on actually sending it to your house in the States heh heh lazy assholes That's the way it is I guess. Don't forget I want an answer babe Love you forever doll Sisterly love hugs you lots SARA 


	3. Attack of the ClonesLumholdt Style

TO: princessaly@eudoramail.com FROM: sahelu2002@eudoramail.com SUBJECT: Attack of the Clones, Lumholdt Style (be afraid, be very afraid) MESSAGE: Am: Help C1: Die Am: Eep C1: Kill M: I think Amit might be dreaming again QB: Yeah just hope BZ ain't using her machine again C2: System running. Target sighted. Kill. S: Ummm, guys, I don't think he's dreaming D: Is the Jolly Green Giant taking over the world again? A: Attack D: Uh oh QB: Don't think she's over the dump yet Dhani D: Me no think so either Queenie IWB: HELPIE HELPIE HELPIE MY CHARACTERS HAVE GONE BANANA CUCKOO!!!!!!!!!!! IWA: HELPIE HELPIE HELPIE I CAN'T SHUT UPPIE I TOO HYPIE!!!!!!! all raise eyebrows Am: Nice S: Ermmmmmmm IWS: MEEZA HYPIE HYPIE AND MEEZA LIKEY LIKEY!!!!!!!!! all insane writers run out of room S, QB, A: eyebrows raised high Whatever BZ: Heh. Heh. They don't know what I'm up to. IWS: Yet. BZ: eyebrows raised Reeeeeeaaaaaallyyyyyyyy. IWS: Yeah, I mean, go figure, right? BZ: I guess so. Anyway. IWS: I mean, they'll figure out in their own little ways how you clone yourself and armor them and then like like like.. BZ: I think you might be ruining the plot IWS: THAT'S WHAT I DO!!!!!!! A: Holy good Goddess. IWS runs out of room screaming IWS: LADIDADIDADIDADI I AIN'T NO LADY!!!!!!!!! I TOO HYPIE TO BE LADYLIKE!!!!! I DON'T CARE EITHER LALALALALALA!!!!! All eyebrows raised sky high S: That's scary. D: Yeah, that's the maniac who is writing this skit. A: Holy crud, she is on Dr. Pepper again. QB: Very Sarcastic Look How do you figure? M: So when's the part when the clones attack? Enter IWS IWS: I ain't talkin'. M: What? You're the writer, why don't you just let it happen? IWS: Lazy, hypie, crazy, don't go there. M: Figures. S: Okay, guess we'll just lie around and wait, eh? All Clones: Attack. S: Okay, then, no more waiting. All Clones: Death is approaching, surrender or die. BZ: Heh heh heh. Rubbing hands together A: Sigh, sigh What a devil. S: No kidding. M: Ready for the old one-two? S: Bored look. Like usual. A: Here we go again. S: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII (PAUSE) YA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All Clones: Ow, that hurt. Simulator not functioning. S: Hee hee hee, all down, zero to go. BZ: Blast it all.  
  
END  
  
Well mua ha ha ha, I am so evil, aren't I? This is the way the money goes around here, when you are bored, you write skits up the wazoo. Speaking of the wazoo, I think Marie may need to yell at Amit for indecent exposure. Holy crapola bananas, if he's not careful, he'll let even his thang hang out of his jeans. Nice mental picture, huh? More to come. Dhani won't put jeans on. Or a shirt. So he's just walking around the bus (or sleeping) with just boxers on in this freezing Sweden weather while we travel again. We're expected to be done soon, so then I can actually come and visit you. That will be nice, won't it? Look forward to meeting Beth, Nick, and Elysa. And maybe your friend Katrina. She is nice, she's been sending us random e-mails.  
So what is up in your world? School going all right? Are you really going to quit band? Personally I think you should stay in band, but it's your decision and none of my beeswax. So then, what else are you doing besides school? Any dates??? Do tell. I'm kind of freaked out because your parents are slowly letting you go. I mean, hello? High heels? Makeup? Panty hose? Cleavage-showing dresses? Contacts? A HAIRCUT??? Girlfriend, you are growing up faster than I did! I still don't wear panty hose! I mean, unless I'm forced to or something, I never ever wear them. Holy Goddess. Look, I want to let you know also that I might not come and if I do it could be just for Samhain since that's already coming up fast. Can you believe it? Day after tomorrow is the first of October. Sheesh.  
I watched "Master of Disguise" last night on my portable DVD player. What fun. I mean, what he said in that one scene is totally true right now.  
"Sleepy time, she comes." How fun. How very fun. Tell Beth that I've bought all the Inuyasha DVDs just to gawk at Sesshomaru's hot bod. Yes, yes, yes, I know he is hers but all the same I am entitled to gawk at whichever anime character is hottest and for me that is Sesshomaru. Love ME! 


	4. Nightly Blues and a Dead Jaken Part 1

Okay I am so bored. It is eleven at night I just finished a Dr.Pepper  
and I can't sleep, (wonder why) I don't know what I want to do now. I  
wish I wasn't out of Dr. Pepper. To those Harry Potter fans, I have  
finished the fifth book with a box of tissues. but I will not spoil  
anything like Aly tried to do  
A-I did?  
B-Yes  
A-When  
B-Um, a, er Sesshomaru a little help here  
SS-So do you want my to poison her or something?  
B-O.o no  
SS-Can I kill Jaken?  
B-Have fun just don't leave blood all over, I am NOT cleaning up after  
you AGAIN!!!!  
SS-Fine  
I-(whistling)  
B-??? Yash, what are you doing  
I-It wasn't me  
SS-O.M.G who killed Jaken! Because it sure as hell wasn't me! And that  
was who I was going to take out my anger on!!  
I-Don't look at me  
B- why is the Tetsuiga all bloody  
I-from the last battle  
SS-That blood is fresh!  
I-Damn his demon nose  
B- I got a new Anime!  
Silence, Cricket, Cricket  
B-What?! I did  
SS- (long and drawn out) wwwooowww That's nice  
B- was that a shot  
SS- no, no it wasn't  
B- u mockin me?!  
SS- aaaaaaaa no  
B- Are you sure  
A- What about me?!?!  
B,SS,I-What about you?  
A-weren't you yelling at me about spoilers?!  
S-you are probably the only person in the free world to want to be  
yelled at.  
I-Ahhh Inutuder, I will dispose of her  
SS-you are a dumbass inuyasha  
I-Die inutruder  
S- -.-;;  
I-Have at yyyyyyyoooooouuuuu  
S- -.-;;;  
I-Say your final words  
S- -.-;;;;  
I-(still standing there) You have but moments to live human  
M-WHY THE HELLO IS EVERYBODY THREATENING EVERYBODY???!!! AND INUYASHA I  
THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING ATTACK SOMETIME SOON!!!  
S- Yeah that's what I thought. I mean he has his sword drawn, and he is  
just standing there.  
A- WHAT ABOUT ME AND THE SPOILERS!!!!???!!!  
all-NOBODY CARES!!!!  
A-Well that's all you had to say  
S-I thought you were going to attack me  
I-Oh yeah (lunges)  
S-  
Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii  
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii  
iiiiya  
I-(voice 3ocetives higher) oooooh shit that hurt  
S- humph that's what you get for trying to hurt me  
B- Can't we all just get along?  
M- my line my line my line my line (jumping up and down like a toddler)  
it's miiiiinnnnneeeee you can't have it, because it's mine and it  
belongs to me because I said it first and there for you copied me so I am  
going to sue you Aly  
A- why me?  
M- I mean Beth  
B- for how much  
M- All you got woman  
B- Here my two cents  
D- I want two cents  
B- Uhh okay, Oy Sesshomaru you got two cents?  
SS- do I look like a bank?!  
B- Wwwwweeeelll  
SS- fine here.  
D-woooooooo hoooooooo  
Am- What's going on here?  
D- Beth gave me two cents that she got from Sesshomaru and then gave it  
to me because Marie sued her for all she had and that was two cents and  
then I wanted some then she asked Sesshomaru for it and then she gave  
it to me because I saw her give some to Marie becuse Marie sued her for  
all she was worth and I wanted Two Cents too so I asked her for it then  
she took it from Sesshomaru then gave it to me because she gave some to  
Marie becuause Marie sued her for all she was worth...  
Am- do you think we should let him know he is telling us the same story  
over and over and over again  
M- He had a lot of caffeine dear, just let him talk it all out  
Five hours later  
D- then she got it from Sesshomaru then gave it to me because I saw her  
giving Marie two cents because Marie sued her for all she had and that  
was Two cents. That's how I got it  
All-...........  
Yes, strangely, this was how it began. Stay tuned for more  
creepy-crazy episodes from the Twisted Minds of Beth and Aly. 


	5. Nightly Blues and a Dead Jaken Part 2

It was continued by an extremely bored Aly who wanted to write as much  
skit-stuff as she could. Unfortunately, multiple calls from Sara,  
Marie, Amit, Dhani, and other friends of hers delayed the writings of the  
continuations, sequels,and new originals...  
A CONTINUATION  
S: DIE DIE DIE DAMN YOU ALL DIE DIE DIE!!!  
M: Um, what for?  
S: Threatening my best friend... Why I oughta...  
SS: Well, cry me a river, build me a bridge, and get over it.  
A: You stole that from Ashley Hadley and me!  
SS: Well, I-  
A: Yooooooooouuuuuu DIE NOW!!! HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-EEEEEE-YA!!!  
SS: Ow, ow, you hit the wrong place...  
B: I shall kill you now!  
A: Bring it on!  
D: (completely out of the blue) Ahhhhhhhh! The Jolly Green Giant is  
taking over the world! We are doomed! Doomed! Doomed forever, I tell  
you!!!  
Silence  
B: Oh, get on with it, he's just speaking Dhani again...  
S: I SO SWEAR I'LL SLAP YOUR BALLS SO HARD THEY'LL FLY OFF!!!!!  
SS: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOJA!!!!!!  
I: I shall use the only weapon I have against the brunette with  
glasses-KNICKERS KNICKERS KNICKERS KNICKERS...  
A: Nooooooo! Nooooo, no no no please I beg of you no have MERCY!!!  
I: KNICKERS! INUYASHA'S KNICKERS! BRAD PITT'S KNICKERS! MATT  
BRAWNER'S KNICKERS! SESSHOMARU'S KNICKERS!!!  
A: ALY TO BRAIN ALY TO BRAIN ALY TO BRAIN ALY TO BRAIN!!!!! SHUT UP  
SHUT UP DAMN IT ALL SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!! WE ARE NOT THINKING  
ABOUT SESSHOMARU'S MIGHTILY BIG VALENTINE'S DAY KNICKERS!!!!  
B: You will die for that!  
Am: No! No! No! Bad picture in brain, bad picture in brain! No  
knickers in brain, I'm worse than Aly when it comes to having a  
photographic memory!!!! Bad, horrible, horrible memory! No, no,  
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
*Begin flashback sequence*  
(Sesshomaru is just minding his own business, walking down the palace  
halls. Along comes Inuyasha, who, horror of all horrors-depantses him  
in front of Dhani, Amit, Sara and Aly.)  
SS: Oh GOD YOU LIL BASTARD!!  
S: Gasp no!  
A: Inuyasha!!  
D: Damn you!!! You're going to set-  
Am: NOOOOOO NOT THE KNICKERS!!  
D: Amit off. Shit.  
Am: KNICKERS NOOOOOOOOOOOOO PLEASE NO NOT THE KNICKERS NO I BEG OF YOU  
PLEASE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
*End flashback sequence*  
Am: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!  
S: COME HERE YOU!!!  
(S runs after Amit)  
Am: Ahhhh! She's going to kill me! She's going to kill me! I'll be  
deaddy dead dead in a moment if you don't call her off!  
M: Sara you're running after the wrong guy! In fact, you're running  
after MY GUY!!!  
S: Sara to brain, Sara to brain, SWITCH GEARS, DAMN YOU ALL TO  
HELL!!!!!  
SS: AHHHHH NOOOOOO HELP!!!  
S: You are dead-o meat-o!  
I: I want to shoot all of you!  
M: Oh, go stick your head in a pot of boiling oil!  
A: Who's the psycho pagan?! I'M the psycho pagan! (turns around to  
face SS) Don't make me kick off your manly balls, boy!!!  
(BZ ambles on in)  
BZ: Damn you all, why can't you just shut the hell up so I can sleep?!  
(Drake comes in behind her)  
Dr: Shut up, all of you! I can't hang in the rafters with all this  
noise comin' through the damn fool slats!!!!!  
D: EXTERMINATE THE BZ BITCHIE WOMAN!!!!!  
BZ: Eep.  
D: (Running wildly after BZ) You want da hifl?? Well YOU CAN'T HANDLE  
DA HIFL!!!!!  
B: YOU STOLE THAT FROM ME IT'S MINE MINE MINE MY LINE MY LINE MY LINE  
IT'S MINE AND YOU CAN'T HAVE IT!!!!!!!!!  
M: NOW YOU STOLE THAT OFF OF ME!!!!!!!!!!  
S: AHHH IT'S THE ELDERLY MAD OUT TO KILL US ALL!!!! (runs out of room)  
Silence.  
B: Well, I guess that's it then.  
Dr: I want my money back.  
M: You didn't pay for it.  
Dr: Oh.  
A: Would someone please yell at me about the spoilers.  
B: Fine.  
A: Um...  
B: YOU SPOILER, I WAS JUST READING THE DAMN BOOK WHEN IN YOU COME,  
MEANDERING ABOUT, YELLING ABOUT HOW IT WAS SO SAD AND GET A BOX OF KLEENEX  
AND ALL OF THAT, AND I'M READING THE BOOK AND YOU SPOILER, YOU WERE  
TRYING TO SPOIL IT FOR ME! DO YOU TAKE PLEASURE IN SPOILING GOOD BOOKS  
FOR OTHER PEOPLE?! I KNEW YOU DID! NOW JUST HOW DO YOU PROPOSE FIXING  
THIS, HUH? HUH???? YOU TELL ME, BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIX IT,  
I'M THE ONE WHO WAS HURT BY IT! YOU SPOILING SPOILING SPOILER, NEVER DO  
THAT AGAIN!!! I'M DONE YELLING AT YOU!!!!!  
A: Okay, eep, noo...  
S: Jakken is dead, my Jakken is dead...  
I: (with total disgust) You LIKED him?  
S: He was a hot, sweet loverboy...  
I: (scornful) So how far did you get?  
S: We had-HEY THAT'S NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!!!!!!! 


	6. FitnessSwimming: The Original

School Daze Saga  
Fitness/Swimming class  
A: Hey, Queen Beth, how do you like my new bikini?  
D: I like, I like! (Starts making inappropriate noises)  
A: Shut up.  
D: What, too soon?  
A: Duh.  
BZ: I think it sucks.  
QB: Well, nobody cares what you think. It looks great Aly.  
A: Thank you.  
QB: What about mine?  
(wearing one like Elle Woods on "Legally Blonde," only baby blue)  
Am: I think you're overdoing it.  
M: Why are you guys here? (she's still wrapped in a towel)  
Am: Why not?  
S: This is a girl's locker room.  
QB: Girls, gather round.  
S: Oh, that is too good!  
Am&D: Uh oh.  
(The girls turn around)  
M: You want to be in here? Well pay the price.  
Am: Eep.  
(girls take out perfume and begin to spray the guys)  
D: It burns!!  
M: No it doesn't.  
D: Spray by spray you are taking away my manliness.  
(Am, in a swarm of girls, throws up his hand and holds up 1, 2, then 3  
fingers)  
QB: Girls, I think they've suffered enough.  
(girls walk out to the pool, followed by the soured-out men)  
Teacher: Okay, class. (sniff) Good God, what is that smell?  
(D&Am glow red with embarrassment)  
Teacher: Girls, what did you do?  
BZ: Kill it.  
QB: Kill what?  
(BZ runs over to the teacher & head butts him into the pool)  
QB: Was that necessary?  
BZ: Yes.  
D: What's that Bzethio? You want to go for a swim?  
BZ: Don't even think about it.  
(D advances, arms out, ready to push)  
BZ: (grabbing Aly) Stay back or else!  
D: Or else what?  
BZ: I'll shoot her in the head.  
A: With what?  
D: Yeah, with what?  
BZ: This! Muahahahahaha!  
A: Eeeeek no!  
(BZ is holding a glue gun with hot pink glue)  
D: No, no, nooooo! Hey, wait a minute!  
Narrator: Will Aly get shot? (Most likely.) Find out next time on  
School Daze Saga! Next episode, Spanish! 


	7. Break Down

Break Down  
A/N: This would be a very long skit if I didn't add this little intro.  
Here it goes. QB, Am and A stayed up all night finding a way to  
deconjoin S and M. The next day BZ force fed D and C Dr. Pepper and  
Mountain  
Dew. Then Bzethio got mad at Joey (BOYFRIEND, in case you forgot).  
BZ: That jerk.  
M: You okay?  
BZ: Men are dorks.  
S: Duh.  
BZ: Run.  
S: Why?  
BZ: Dieeeeeee!  
S: Ahhhh!  
M: Bzethio, stop!  
BZ: Fine, you die too!  
M: Eek!  
D and Am are just walking around, minding their own business, when BZ  
comes along...  
D: What the-  
Am: Shit, no-  
5 minutes later  
Am: This sux.  
D: Geez, what did we do?  
Am: I have no idea. Maybe it has something to do with Bzethio and  
Joey's breakup. That might explain why she wrote "men are pigs" on our  
arms.  
D: Damn that is a painful wedgie. Why oh why did she tie our hands up  
too?  
Am: No clue. Why are you asking me questions with no answer?  
D: Well, I guess this would be an even better question.  
Am: Shoot.  
D: Why oh why did I eat that bean burrito?!  
Am: NO, PLEASE, NOOO!  
D: Can't hold it back.  
Am: Nooo, oh, please, I beg of you nooooooo!!!  
S/E: *Bereep*  
Am: Oh, he did it. OH GOD THE SMELL IS FATAL!!!!  
D: Sorry, BZ made me eat them.  
Am: And you listened to her!  
D: Well, she said that or cheese and brussel sprouts.  
Am: Good point.  
D: Shush. I hear footsteps.  
QB: Man, Cheeb, I am so tired. I just want to go to bed.  
D: Oh, no.  
Am: What?  
D: My shoe is slipping off.  
Am: So what?  
D: Queen Beth is tired, so getting hit with a shoe won't help.  
Am: Shit, keep it on!  
D: It's slipping!  
QB: What was that noise?  
C: I have no clue.  
D: (shoe slipping off) Heads up.  
QB: Wha- (shoe hits Chibi)  
D: I said heads up.  
QB: (looks up to see the men dangling from the ceiling) This can't be  
good.  
Am: A little help!  
QB: (slips on headset) Dangler sec 5 D and Am.  
muffled speaking  
QB: Yeah WR and BZ PR PTT.  
Am: That code bugs me.  
QB: Dangler sector 5, Dhani and Amit, Wedgie Remover and Bzethio Paint  
Remover, Please and Thank You.  
G1: Oh my.  
G2: This could take awhile.  
G3: (putting on latex gloves, holding a can and a scrubbie)  
G4: Here are the extendos.  
D: Extendos?  
Am: Sweet.  
QB: 1 and 2 could you please-  
1&2: Bring BZ to you?  
QB: Please and thank you. (goes up to undo Bzethio's mess)  
D: Hi.  
QB: Hiya. Hey #4-  
4: Yeah?  
QB: Take Chibi to get some aspirin for her head.  
4: Okay.  
QB: Man, how tight did Bzethio make this?  
Am: You will be able to get us down, right?  
D: I have a painful wedgie.  
Am: Yeah, me too, but stop complaining.  
QB: Be right back.  
D: What?  
QB: (gets down) Aly, help me please.  
A: Hey, what's going on? GOD DAMN!  
D: Hi, honey.  
A: What is my fiancè doing up there?  
QB: Long story.  
Later  
QB: BZETHIO!  
BZ: WHAT?!?  
QB: Why did you hang the men from the ceiling?!?  
BZ: Why should I tell you?  
QB: YOU ARE DRIVING ME INSANE!!!  
BZ: So?  
QB: So! SO!! Is that all you can say?!?  
BZ: Lighten up!  
QB: Lighten up? LIGHTEN UP?! Bzethio, you keep pulling these stunts!  
Do you have any idea how long it took to calm Chibi and Dhani down?!  
BZ: Aaa, no, heh, that was funny, though.  
QB: FUNNY!!! Chibi was literally bouncing off the walls!!!  
BZ: Chill out, man.  
QB: CHILL OUT! CHILL OUT! You are going to be the death of me!!!  
BZ: So?  
QB: (stunned face)  
M: What's all the yelling about?  
BZ: QB is flipping out.  
S: QB, do you need to sit down?  
QB: SIT? SIT, I CAN'T SIT!!!  
M: Why do you say that?  
QB: Everytime I try to relax, Bzethio does something.  
S: Okay, Queen Beth, here, we'll take care of Bzethio and you go lay  
down. To be honest you look like hell.  
QB: It's not too bad.  
S: Come on.  
QB: NO, I can't. I CAN'T!!!  
S: Why?  
QB: Bzethio will wreak havoc.  
S: Well, I knew that this would happen one day.  
QB: What?  
S: (Pulls out a needle) Sorry about this.  
QB: Whoa.  
S: Ahh, valium works miracles.  
QB: So sleepy.  
S: I know.  
(FLOP)  
QB: Zzzzzzzzzz...  
S: Marie, little help...  
  
ALY'S ADD ON:  
S: I want to murder that little freakazoid.  
M: No vi-  
S: Oh, shut your blonde yap!  
M: UH!!!  
S: Listen, I'm going to go find BZ and give her some of this  
Power-Sleep stuff.  
M: You sure that's wise?  
S: What do I have to lose?  
M: (muttering) Everything, including a limb.  
S has gone off to find BZ with pill bottle in hand.  
D: SARA SARA SARA HELP ME PLEASE YOU GOTTA SAVE ME!!!  
S: What the hell-  
Am: (drooling) You so fiiiiiiine!  
S: BZETHIO WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!  
BZ: Heh. Attraction formula.  
S: Excuse me?  
BZ: Heh heh heh. (POINK) Gotcha!  
S: Ow, what- Ooh, hey, hot boy!  
D: NOT AGAIN!!!! ALYYYYYYYYY!!! WHERE IS MY ALY! ALY, ALY, HELP!!!  
D runs away, trying to get away from S and Am, who are slobbering...  
D: ALY, ALY, ALY!!!!! ALY, ALY, ALY!!! MARIE OR ALY OR SOMEBODY-CHIBI  
EVEN, HELLLP!!!! HELP HELP HELP!!!!  
A: Wha- (wakes up) Wherewhowhathow?  
Down the hall  
M: What's going on out there?  
D runs past  
D: ATTRACTION FORMULAAAAAA- MARIE I'M BEING ATTACKED BY AMIT AND SARA,  
THEY'RE FOAMING AT THE MOUTH AND YELLING AT ME AND SAYING HOW I'M SO  
FINE AND I CAN'T GET AWAY AND BZETHIO DID IT...  
M: I knew that was a bad idea.  
D: HELP!!!  
M: (reaches out for Am and S) No you don't.  
S: LEMME AT THE FINE ONE!!!  
Am: DAMN THE TORPEDOES-FIND HOT GUY!  
M: Oh my Goddess. BZETHIOOOOOOOO!  
A: I'll get her.  
M: She's dangerous with that stuff.  
A: Don't worry, I have my trusted dart gun.  
M: You go, girl.  
A goes on the hunt  
BZ: You can't catch me, lalalalalaaaaalaaaa!!!  
A: You wanna bet? (shoots gun)  
BZ: (insert loud swearing here)  
A: I'll get you! (shoots gun about 100 times)  
BZ: I've been hit! OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW!!!!!!!! (falls over)  
A: Heh. Knew I could get her.  
M: (grimly) Now, if only we could find an antidote to that darned  
attraction formula. Let's go, Aly.  
A: Comin'.  
BZ: (moans) Whuzzzzzzz...  
LATER  
(BZ is chained to the torture table down in the dungeons. D, A, QB, S,  
C are sleeping. M looks about to have a breakdown herself.)  
M: If I fall asleep, Bzethio will break loose. And then that's kaput  
then... Oh how can I ever sleep... How... zzzzzzz...  
  
~THE END~ 


	8. Bzethio's Boyfriend

Bzethio's Boyfriend  
QB: Hey, Kristi, what's up? Haven't seen you for awhile.  
K: I have been super busy with the twins and that boy of mine.  
QB: Taluse. But he seems so calm.  
K: No, Zach. That and Kelly has a son.  
QB: Your sister?  
K: No, Melissa was my sister. Kelly was her mother.  
QB: YOU WERE ADOPTED!!  
K: No! Kelly was my dad's first wife. Anywho, he is the most evil guy  
in the universe; here's a picture.  
A: Ewww, gross!  
D: Ahhh! Oh, my, he is, a, um-  
BZ: Incredibly hot!  
D: Um, no I was going to say scary.  
BZ: Why am I suddenly feeling tingly down in my front bum?  
Am: Whoa, way too much info, SICK!  
M: Oh, my Goddess, he is disgusting, eww!  
BZ: What's his name?  
K: Drake for short.  
BZ: Hot cha cha. Set me up set me up please!  
K: Eww no. Seriously evil. Oh wait, fine, but I'll blast him if he  
tries anything.  
*Dials up his number*  
Dr: Hello? (Spooky voice)  
K: Drake, Kristi.  
Dr: You little blonde rat, you killed my mother and sister!  
BZ: Oh, bad girl.  
K: They started it. Not important, look-can you teleport over here, I  
have to set you up with a friend of mine.  
BZ: I'm not your friend!  
Dr: Fine.  
*He appears*  
A: Eww he's even more gross in person!!  
BZ&Dr: Shut up biscuit head!  
A: Uh!  
M: My line.  
A: SO?  
M: That's all I had for the moment.  
S: Um, dude, what's with the blood?!?  
Dr: Are you opposing me friend of blondie?!  
M,D&K: Uh!  
QB: Well, um, okay. (Walks up to Dr)  
Dr: Who are you?  
QB: Listen, pal, you can't tell me what to do!  
Dr: Why not?  
QB: Because I can bring da hifl!  
Dr: Fine, but tell me, who is she?  
QB: That's El Bzethio.  
Dr: Well, hello.  
BZ: H-hi.  
Dr: You are a sexy bitch.  
BZ: Same to you.  
Dr: I like your attitude.  
D: I want to shoot you both.  
Dr&BZ: Can it blondie!  
D: Eep noo!  
K: I'm warning you Drake, behave, or zap-zap!  
Dr: Wanna shut up, blondie?  
D&M: I didn't say anything!  
Dr: Not you, her!  
K: Uh! Listen, pal, don't bring any harm to my friends or family or I  
will bring you down! I WILL!  
C: You will what?  
K: Find out why he isn't listening to me.  
Dr: I was for the first second.  
K: Then what did I say?  
*Silence*  
Dr: No wonder my older sister was annoyed by her.  
BZ: She does tend to ramble.  
Dr: So, um, you busy tonight?  
BZ: No, not really, just the usual.  
Dr: Dinner with me?  
BZ: Sure.  
QB: Well, that was unusual.  
M: Yeah.  
Am: Why does she have to do this to us?  
S: What are you talking about?  
D: Remember Joey?  
A: Oh, yeah, Bzethio's first boyfriend. What about him?  
C: She hung the men up on the ceiling.  
S: Oh, right.  
QB: Joey was okay, I mean, he respected me.  
M: Yeah, he was a gentleman.  
QB: No wonder Bzethio hated him.  
C: I liked Joey.  
A: Only because he gave you candy.  
C: Yep.  
M: You were hyper all the time.  
C: So?  
D: Ahh, hyperness, how I love it.  
S: You are the only one.  
QB: No, I love being hyper. Oh, you mean him.  
M: Yeah.  
*Later*  
Dr: Well that was fun.  
BZ: Yeah. Here.  
Dr: What are these?  
BZ: Caffiene darts. Shoot them at the blonde man.  
Dr: Hiya.  
D: Owww!  
BZ: Hiya.  
C: Owwwie!  
*Both become very hyper*  
Dr: Heh heh heh.  
QB: BZETHIO!  
BZ: Let's go. (Goes to BZ's lab)  
Dr: Whoa.  
BZ: My inventions. Here we have the cloning machine, here we have the  
caffiene darts, and my personal favorite the time machine.  
Dr: You made these?  
BZ: Yep.  
QB: Bzethio!!!  
BZ: What?  
QB: YOU ARE DRIVING ME NUTS!  
BZ: So?  
QB: So! SO! Give me caffiene! Not the kind you give Dhani and Chibi,  
just to keep me awake!  
BZ: Here.  
QB: Thank you. (Pops open a Diet Pepsi) So, Bzethio, showin' off?  
BZ: I was just showing him my creations.  
QB: That's nice.  
BZ: Well, don't you have some work to do?  
QB: Of course I do! Dhani and Chibi are bouncing off the walls, Sara  
and Marie are arguing about something and Amit is talking loudly in his  
sleep.  
BZ: Yeah, so go then.  
QB: Heh, heh, yeah right! And leave you two alone?!  
Dr: Hey.  
QB: I don't want little Bzethios and Drakes running around. Chibi is  
too much of a handful anyway.  
Dr: Damn!  
BZ: What?  
Dr: No privacy!  
BZ: Nope.  
Dr: Eh, Bzethio we have to talk.  
BZ: 'Bout what?  
Dr: Us?  
BZ: What about us?  
Dr: Bzethio, I-  
END  
Ooh, a cliffy. I am soooooo mean.  
K: You are like this mean little bitch!  
B: Yeah, so?  
K: Well, what happens next?  
B: Promise not to tell?  
K: (Nods)  
B: Well. (Whispers to Kristi)  
K: No.  
B: Yes.  
K: (giggles) That is so mean.  
B: Oh, I know.  
K: Yeah, but that's nothin' compared to this cliffy!  
B: Oh, aren't I just a pain in the ass?  
K: Yes.  
Se: Mommy!  
K: Hi, baby!  
Se: Daddy and Toulouse are being mean!  
T: Are not!  
LATER  
NOBODY SAW THIS COMIN'!  
A/N: We all know what happened last time!!!  
Dr: I want to-  
QB: Okay, people let's go!  
BZ: Where?  
QB: Come on.  
BZ: What did you want to tell me?  
Dr: Later.  
BZ: Damn, Bitch Queen!  
QB: Dieeeee!  
M: No fighting, people.  
BZ: You got lucky, Queenie.  
QB: As if!  
S: Whoa, that was a blast from the past!  
D: Blast from the past, is like a kick in the asst, gonna hang you from  
a mast!  
S: Oh, God no!  
Am: Not again.  
A: What's an asst?  
M: No clue, he must be speaking Dhani.  
*Bzethio and Drake slip off*  
M: Where are they going?  
QB: No clue.  
*In the room*  
(A/N: Bzethio and Drake have been dating for five months)  
Dr: Bzethio, um, well, I don't know how to say this, but... Um...  
BZ: (starting to think she will be dumped)  
Dr: Do you wanna get hitched?  
BZ: You mean married?  
Dr: Yeah, but hitched sounds better.  
BZ: True. Oh, um, YES DUH!  
Dr: Woohoo! (Insert mushy kissing)  
*Unfortunately, Dhani walks in)  
D: AHHHHH MY EYES!!!  
Dr&BZ: CAN IT BLONDIE ASS MUNCH!!!  
D: Poopie heads!  
*D Runs out)  
A: Hon, what's all the screaming about?  
D: Bzethio and Drake sharing a tender moment.  
QB: A kiss?  
D: Uh huh.  
Am: Oh, man, I feel sorry for you.  
D: Thanks.  
END 


	9. Animal Behavior

Animal Behavior  
BZ: (Alone in Hifl) I hate Queen Beth. I hate Chibi, and I hate all  
of those miserable rats and mice I have to live with. I have all this  
damn time in this miserable place-wait! I have an idea! Oh, I am so  
good!!  
*Up in the throne room*  
S: Do you hear something?  
D: I'm always hearing something.  
S: I'm not talking to you.  
D: Poo poo head.  
S: I shall kill you later.  
D: Eep.  
QB: What did you hear?  
S: Some metal clanking.  
M: Uh oh.  
(Room begins to shake)  
A: Bzethio's doing something again.  
Am: Arf What the-arf! Woof! Yark yark yark yark woof arf yip yip  
grrrrr....  
M: What's going on? Squeak squeaky squeak...  
QB: Shit. Chirp, chirp, tweet tweet trill cheep...  
D: Ooh ooh ooh ahh ahh ahh AHH AAAHH!!  
C: You sound like a zoo.  
QB: Cheep tweet tweet chirp cheep chirp...  
C: Sorry, can't understand you.  
D: Ooh ooh ahh ahh. (Attaches onto A)  
A: Meow, mrrroww!! Tsss!!!  
(A is growing fur and whiskers)  
D: AHH AAAHHHH!! (turns into a chimp)  
(The whole gang turns into a gaggle of animals. D a chimp, A is a cat,  
QB is a bird, M is a mouse, Am is a dog. C is still herself)  
C: Oh no.  
(Enter BZ)  
BZ: Dratitude! It didn't work on you.  
C: DIEEEEEEEE!!!! (tackles BZ)  
(Big cloud of dust rises. Am-as a dog-and A-as a cat-jump in, claws  
and teeth flying. QB pecks at BZ's eyes)  
BZ: Okay okay!! Owwww!  
(C runs down to lab and finds antidote)  
C: Here!  
(All are back to normal)  
QB: Bzethio, that is the last straw! I am setting fire to that goddamn  
lab!  
BZ: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!  
(BQ drops a match in the lab)  
S: Too bad for you, bitch.  
D: I liked being a chimp.  
A: Um, okay...  
D: I'm going to the kitchen to find a banana. 


	10. Baby Love 1

Part 1: Happy News!  
QB: Hey Dhani.  
D: Hey, Queen Beth.  
QB: (sits down) I have bad news and good news. Which do you want  
first?  
D: (looking scared) Ummmm, bad.  
QB: You will very soon lose your freedom.  
D: Ummm, what and why?  
QB: (very quickly) Then we're on to the good news, which is...  
(silence)  
D: What is it?  
QB: Aly's pregnant! And this time for real, not like the time she had  
that nightmare about having 20 kids and woke up...  
D: Oh my god, really?  
QB: Congrats!  
D: Well, where's Aly?  
QB: Coming home from the doctors'; she called from her cell phone.  
D: Oh. ...Wow. A baby. I guess that's worth losing my freedom for.  
QB: Oh. My. God. You actually got my joke.  
D: Um... Yeah, so?  
QB: (walking out of the room) Our little Dhani-Hani-Boy is growing up.  
D: My name's John.  
QB: (stops) Whoa. Wait till the others hear about this! Dhani  
actually wants to be called by his real first name! (laughs and leaves)  
D: Whoa. A baby.  
(Aly returns from doctor's office)  
A: Hi darling. (She looks REALLY tired)  
D: C'mere. (Opens his arms)  
(A sits in his lap & leans against his chest)  
D: So... A baby, huh?  
A: Mmm hmmm.  
D: And this time it's for real?  
A: Would I lie about this?  
D:You pulled a stunt last year...  
A: It was April Fools' Day. And huh, boy did you play the fool then!  
D: (Red with embarrassment) I remember that.  
A: You know, I wondered how you'd react to this news.  
D: You know I've always wanted to be a daddy.  
A:Yeah, I know. But after having that twenty-tuplets dream...  
D: Yeah. Are you sure it's only one?  
A: So far.  
D: Eep. 


	11. Bzethio and the Computer

El Bzethio and the Computer  
QB: Bzethio, what in the name of arse are you doing?  
BZ: Oh, nothing, just killing the confounding, useless technology of  
today.  
(BZ is slamming a typewriter with a sledgehammer)  
QB: Bzethio, you really ARE a dolt.  
BZ: What now, Cracker-Jack?  
QB: Well, first of all, call me that and you die, and second of all,  
typewriters are from somewhere in the fifties. In the eighties or so we  
developed something called a computer. It works much faster.  
(BZ gives the typewriter one final pound and straightens up)  
BZ: Yeah, so?  
QB: So, we have one, and if you want to, I can show you how to work it.  
BZ: OK, Cracker-Jack, show me!  
QB: I have my finger on the Hifl button.  
BZ: Eep.  
QB: That's better. Anyway... Kristi!  
K: What?  
BZ: I need you up here!  
K: OK!  
(K comes up wearing her ballgown)  
QB: Whoa, Kristi! What's with the ballgown?  
K: Aly's fiancè is teaching me how to waltz.  
QB: Um, okay. Well, I have a job for you, and it sure doesn't involve  
waltzing. Kristi, I hereby entrust you with teaching Bzethio here how  
to use the Royal Computer. I'll give you a few hours, together, alone,  
and she'd better be able to use the damn thing if you want to stay out  
of Hifl. Hear me?  
K: Yes.  
BZ: This is gonna be good.  
K: Damn, damn, damn!!!  
BZ: Ha ha, you're stuck here with me. Now teach me to use the goddamn  
computer, you cock-sucker!  
K: Don't you dare call me a cock-sucker!!! (Powers up using Zaferon  
crystal)  
BZ: Eep, I was just kidding.  
K: You better have been, Lava-Brain. (Powers down)  
(K sits down at the computer and begins teaching BZ to use it)  
BZ: (frustrated as hell) Damn it! What the hell is HTML???  
K: I'm not a goddamned Internet user, so how the hell would I know?  
BZ: Oh shut up, you cockbrained amateur! Lemme at the compu-whatever  
the hell it is!  
(BZ grabs her sledgehammer)  
K: Oh, no you don't!!  
BZ: Oh, yes I diddley-damned DO!!!  
(BZ slams the sledgehammer down on the computer)  
COMPUTER: System failing. System failing. Heavy damage reported.  
Summon the guards and the Queen. System failing.  
BZ: Oh, shit!!!  
K: You've done it now, Bzethio.  
(QB rushes into the room)  
QB: Hifl time Bzethio! Get your ass down there! I'm going to make you  
crack so many damned nuts that your hands will fall off your goddamn  
wrists!!!! 


	12. Bzethio's Wedding Unfinished

From the Twisted Mind of Aly comes a new tale of things you'd never  
want stuck permanently in your brain. Be prepared for:  
BZETHIO AND DRAKE'S WEDDING  
All are in the car, waiting for BZ to finish getting ready.  
Am: I'll bet she's wearing a black gown.  
M: Oh, don't be so cynical.  
Bzethio comes out of the palace wearing a black, almost see-through  
gown (ICK!).  
S: As usual, the optimist is completely wrong.  
M: Shut up, Sara.  
Am: You're just jealous because you see your glass half empty.  
A: Um, you guys? Can we have a car ride where Amit, Sara, and Marie  
aren't bickering about something completely irrelevant to what's  
happening today?  
D: Yeah, like, how Bzethio and Drake aren't getting married in a  
church.  
M: (shuddering) Dungeons for a wedding, how revolting.  
A: No kidding. Of course, in Bzethio's and Drake's sick minds, it's  
going to be the most beautiful event of their whole sorry lives.  
D: Eep, she's coming, don't let her bite me!  
Bzethio opens the door and gets in.  
M: Congrats on today, Bzethio.  
BZ: That's EL Bzethio to you, blondie.  
M: Uh!  
QB: Be nice, Bzethio (from the front).  
BZ: It's my party and I'll deride if I want to! 


	13. Dhani Speaks Dhani

From the Twisted Mind of Aly  
Dhani Speaks Dhani  
D: Blast from the past is like a kick in the asst gonna hang you from a  
mast!!!  
S: Old one, buddy boy.  
D: The Jolly Green Giant is higher than a fire hydrant he's takin' over  
the world with all his diamonds and all his pearls...  
M: (big sigh) HUSH!  
D: I wish I had a dolla gonna sit right here and holla cuz I don't even  
have a dime hey could ya give me the time...  
Am: SHUT UP, YOU!!!  
D: I'm as mad as a hatta soon I'll be up to batta you'll never make me  
stop I'll never stop da bop da be hop be bop...  
A: Dhani, HUSH!!!  
D: Hey beby would ya go with me and you'd see I'm like da best da best  
yeah I'm betta then da rest gonna rap till I get slapped with a  
gorgeous gal in ma lap neva stop gonna pop gonna hop gonna bop till I  
drop!!!!  
B: (groan) He never stops)  
D: I'll never be seen without a great big machine no one even try  
'cause I'm gonna make you cry with a round of the sound and the slime with  
da rhyme gonna hold you till I die with the cry of the lie ain't no joke  
ya bloke when I stoke the toke of the smoky hoky poky of the stupid  
cupid flyin' round in the smoke of the sound in the pound...  
S: SHUT UP!!! (slapping Dhani hard)  
D: OWIIIIEEE! I hurt I hurt!!!  
A: (sigh) Go to bed, Dhani.  
D: Noonoonoonoonoo... 


	14. Healthy Living

School Daze: Second Semester  
The Horror Returns in...  
Healthy Living!!! (insert screams here)  
QB: Let's go, let's go, we've got large group!  
D&Am: Awwwww!  
S: I agree.  
M: Shut up, Sara!  
A: Let's go, we'll be late.  
QB: Here's the seating chart.  
S: Shitness!  
M: Sara!!  
Seating Chart  
Marie Bzethio Chibi Queen Beth  
Sara Dhani Aly Amit  
A: Oh, good God, that's a bad front row!  
BZ: You're telling me! I have to sit between Princess Blondie-Ditz and  
Duchess Pokes-A-Lot, with Queen Bitch Shut-Up-And-Work overseeing all!  
QB: Damn straight!  
M: Don't call me Princess Blondie-Ditz!  
C: Stop calling me Duchess Pokes-A-Lot!  
D: And don't call Queen Beth Queen Bitch Shut-Up-And-Work!  
QB: Actually, that's more the truth nowadays-I am the overseer,  
remember?  
D: Eep, noo, yipies.  
Am: Stop stealing my line!  
D: Come and make me!  
Am: OK, I will!  
(Am lunges for D, starts punching him, D starts punching back, and a  
large cloud of dust rises up from the floor.)  
S: Dogfight.  
M: Stop it! Stop fighting, both of you! That's enough!  
A: Oh, just let them, they need the workout.  
QB: Yeah, they do. While we wait, how 'bout them apples?  
(silence)  
S: Didn't get that, but oh well!  
QB: Just trying to make some conversation.  
M: Okely dokely.  
Am: Ow! Ow! Damn, Dhani, you got a hefty right punch!! (Holding jaw)  
D: Oopsie doodles!  
(M and A look at each other)  
S: Um, okay...  
A: Yep, that's my baby boy.  
M: And that's my big, sweet, loving, hot, sexy, courageous lover.  
(silence. Am and D stop fighting and look at her)  
M: Um, did I just ramble?  
S: Very much so.  
M: Oops. Didn't mean to do that.  
A: That's okay. We all do that sometimes. Sara does it in her sleep a  
lot, so why shouldn't some of us do it while awake?  
S: You WILL die for that.  
A: I know.  
QB: And you dare to risk it?  
S: I won't kill you this time, but one more screwup and I kill you  
violently.  
A: I know.  
Am: Am I really big, sweet, loving, hot, sexy, and courageous?  
M: As I see, it, yes.  
(Am wraps M in a hug)  
Am: You my baby.  
M: I know, sweetheart.  
(Awww) 


	15. Medieval Times

The Gang Goes Back In Time  
Part 1: Medieval Times  
In Civics Large Group...  
QB: God I'm bored.  
D: You're not the only one.  
M: Be quiet!  
Am: Dude, if this was a history class, it would be much more  
interesting.  
M: I said, be quiet! Do you not know what that means?!  
A: Chill, Marie. We are all free to express our feelings here.  
M: What in the name of Athamya is that supposed to mean?  
BZ: Shut it!!  
QB: Oh, like you're interested in the history of the government.  
BZ: Hey, I just so happen to like the history of things.  
QB: You sure didn't care when I tried to tell you about your own  
history!  
M: Hey, stuff it!  
S: (writing down some notes) The government of America is both similar  
and different than the government of Sweden.  
BZ: Well, of course, ass munch, they're two different countries, JA?  
S: Hiiiiiii-ya!!! (Karate chops both BZ's ankles)  
BZ: Ow, shit, you bitch!  
S: That's what you get for calling me an ass munch and for making fun  
of my funky Svedish accent!!  
BZ: You mean...  
QB: Shut it, Bzethio.  
Teacher: (lecturing) In Medieval Times, the government was hardly  
developed. Therefore, structure was directly hindered...  
BZ: Medieval times, huh? (Starts plotting)  
A: What's she up to? She only gets that look on her face when she's  
plotting some kind of plan to overthrow Queen Beth. I better tell her.  
BZ: (raises her hand)  
Teacher: Yes?  
BZ: May I go to the restroom?  
Teacher: Yes you may. (Keeps lecturing)  
(BZ gets up and leaves the room)  
(Again, like in the Cloning Skit, you hear the clanking of metal)  
A: Oh my Goddess, it's happening again.  
QB: Do you hear metal clanking?  
M: Yeah, but I think we're too late.  
(A strong magnetic pull begins to pull the gang back towards where  
Bzethio is. QB is cursing like a madwoman.)  
QB: Dammit! Bzethiooooo! What the hell are you into this time?!?  
BZ: Another one of my genius inventions, my Queen! Muuuahahahaha!!!  
S: (groans) Don't we ever learn?!  
(Magnetic pull brings them to where Bzethio is standing by her time  
machine of doom...)  
D: Aly?  
A: What, honey?  
D: I'm scared.  
Am: I can back that up, Aly. His pants are wet.  
A: Oh, DHAAANIII!  
D: Sorry.  
A: Oh, never mind.  
BZ: Now, we experience... The Medieval era!!! Muuuuuahaahahahaha!!!  
Am&D: Eep.  
D: Hey, welcome to ScaredsVille. I thought I was the only one living  
here...  
Am: Shut up and hold me.  
D: Only if you hold me.  
(D and Am grab on to each other.)  
S: Boys are so weird.  
A: You guys, it's not that bad.  
M: Gee, ya think?  
(D and Am are practically killing each other trying to get away.)  
A: Now it's my turn to stand corrected.  
QB: Okay, okay! Let's find a way to get out of this...  
S: Yee-ow! What the hell was that?  
(A knight is poking her with his sword)  
D: (in a very, very small voice) Mommy.  
Am: Hey, that's my line.  
D: Well, I stole it, so BACK OFF!  
M: Would you guys shut up?  
S: Dude, this is really, really weird.  
QB: Holy shit! You guys, this is one of those knight battle thingies.  
D: Say what?  
QB: You know, where two of those dudes in metal armor battle it out on  
top of horses with those big lance-type swords?  
D: I'm still confused.  
QB: Never mind. You'll see later.  
D: Eep.  
M: Where are we and why are we here and how did we get here and who are  
we going to meet here and wheretofore...  
Am: Chill out, baby.  
M: Um, okay. But those dudes on horseback there look pretty darn  
freaky... Are you sure we're in Medieval times?  
QB: Oh yeah. No doubt about that, sister.  
A: What do we do now?  
QB: The hell if I know!  
Am: You're our queen, you're supposed to lead us...  
D: Amit, don't! That's disrespectful. Ish.  
S: Shut up, the both of you!  
A: Yeah, can't you see that Queen Beth is trying to think?  
Am: Oh, yeah, yeah, uh huh, um... OK. I'm shuttin' up now.  
D: Oh, okay. Me go sleepy bye now.  
A: Don't you dare.  
D: Noo.  
QB: I got it!  
M: Yay!  
QB: All we have to do is find Bzethio, beat her up, and make her take  
us back to the time machine so we can get back to our own time!  
D: Yay! Oh, but the bad thing about going back to our own time is,  
that we have to go back to school as well.  
M: Exactly the point, Dhani.  
D: Noo.  
A: Be quiet, Dhani.  
D: Okay.  
QB: Come on, let's go, we don't have much time!  
M: Hurrying!  
QB: I'm not kidding you guys, run!  
M: Running!  
QB: Marie, don't do that!  
M: Not doing it!  
QB: I mean it!  
M: Shutting up now!  
D: I think she really means it, Marre.  
M: Okay.  
QB: That helped, Dhani, thank you.  
(The Gang is now in a crowded street, where merchants are yelling their  
wares, and the group starts to break up. M begins to panic, while D is  
on the verge of wetting his pants again. Am is holding onto M and D  
onto A. QB looks steamed, and S isn't sure what to feel. Meanwhile, BZ  
is in the castle, gloating over her (so-called) glory. She has no idea  
what's about to hit her)  
M: There she is!  
S: Get her!  
BZ: Oh shit.  
(Gang tackles BZ, who's cussing the entire time.)  
D: Burn her at the stake! Drive a lance through her heart!  
(Crickets, silence, crickets)  
D: What?!?!  
Am: Chill out, buddy.  
S: You are a wack!!!!  
D: D'OH! D'OH! I cannot believe I just did that.  
A: Cool it, babe.  
D: D'OH!!!! Sorry. Had to get that outta my system.  
(silence)  
S: Whatever.  
QB: Let's get this chickie to the torture chamber of doom!  
BZ: (In a monotone) Eep. I am terrified. I will be killing myself  
now.  
QB: Not till after the funfunfun torture though!  
M: NO! NO TORTURE!  
S: Up-shut!  
M: Uh!  
S: Come on, let's go home.  
(Back in Civics Large Group)  
M: Ho, hum, another day goes by.  
S: Not without chaos.  
(Screaming can be heard from somewhere in the building.)  
Am: Boy, is Bzethio getting it.  
D: Yepyepyepyepyep!!! (Takes a drink of Dr. Pepper)  
A: Dhani, I told you not to get any more pop!!!  
D: Ooooooopsies, me do bad thingie, hehehehehehehehe.  
S: Here we go again.  
M: Is Queen Beth done yet?!  
A: Hey, these things take time.  
QB: (from torture chamber) Damn straight!  
BZ:  
EEEEYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA(BREATH)AAAAAAAAAAHAAHAHAA!!!!! 


	16. Nobody Saw This One Comin!

NOBODY SAW THIS ONE COMIN'!  
Inu: Hey Sara?  
S: Yeah?  
Inu: I was just wondering...  
S: Yeah, AND?!  
Inu: You are one tough, sexy little bitch.  
S: Tell me something I DON'T know.  
Inu: Wanna come out with me?  
S: Um, sure.  
(complete silence)  
B: Whoa.  
D: Watch out.  
S: I'll give you a try, even though you killed my beloved Jaken.  
B: Ewww, you sick, you know that?  
S: UPSHUT!!!  
B: Eep.  
M: Never mess with Sara. I thought you knew that rule already.  
S: Damn right!  
B: Why can't we all just get along like we used to?  
D: Used to? When did we ever used to get along?  
M: He's right, you know.  
D: Yay, me right, me right, yay!  
(silence)  
A: Dhani, please, be normal.  
D: Okees.  
2 WEEKS LATER...  
S: Hey, everyone, I'm home!  
A: How was your date with Inuyasha?  
S: (sigh, sigh) Dreeeeeeeeeeeeeeamy.  
A: Oh, lord.  
M: What?  
A: I think Sara's fallen in love. Remember what happened with Jered?  
*Begin flashback sequence*  
S: HE DUMPED ME!!! HE HAD THE ALMIGHTY NERVE TO TELL ME IT'S OVER!!!!  
D: I better get out of the way.  
A: Damn right, you'd better get out of the way!  
S: I SHALL DESTROY ALL WHO CROSS MY PATH!!!! (storms off)  
(In the hallway. Sesshomaru is minding his own business-uh-oh, this  
sounds familiar-walking to the kitchen to get something to eat, when  
along comes Sara...)  
SS: What the hell!  
(Sesshomaru is strung up to a wall torch by the strings on his  
sweatpants)  
SS: A little help here!  
*End flashback sequence*  
D: This could become a blast from the past.  
A: Oh, don't start that again.  
D: What what what what what??????  
A: You know what I'm talking about!  
D: Oh, yeah, the blast from the past is like a kick in the asst gonna  
hang you from a mast? I'm over that stage.  
Am: I damn well hope so.  
D: Yeah, now I'm in the you're so fine and now you're mine stage.  
A: Oh, no.  
D: What what what what what???????  
A: Eurrrrrrrrrrrrrghhh.  
(Enter Inuyasha)  
S: Inuyaaaashaaaaa, my little sweetie-pants.  
A: Um.  
D: OH GOD NOOOOOOOO!!!  
A: Hush!  
M: This is strange.  
Am: Yeah, I know.  
Inu: C'mere my baby doll.  
(Insert loud smooching)  
D: NOO NOO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! NO KISSY NO KISSY NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!  
S: (eye roll) C'mon, Yashie, let's go.  
Inu: Fine with me.  
6 MONTHS LATER  
Inu: Sara?  
S: What?  
Inu: Let's get married.  
S: Fine.  
(in hallway)  
D: Uh.  
A: Uh.  
M: Wow.  
B: Uh.  
Am: Oh, my God.  
(Inu and S come out to announce their news)  
Inu: We're getting married.  
S: Tomorrow.  
D: We know.  
S: EAVESDROPPERS KILL THEM ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
D: Eep. 


	17. Spanish

Spanish  
Teacher: Hola, clase.  
BZ: Say what?  
QB: Doofus.  
BZ: Shut up.  
M: Cool it guys.  
Teacher: I'm taking role. Queen Beth?  
QB: Here.  
Teacher: Marie?  
M: Here, for the most part.  
Teacher: Sara, Aly.  
A&S: Here.  
Teacher: Now, which one of you guys is El Bzethio?  
BZ: I am and I'm a girl.  
Teacher: Excuse me, but "el" is masculen. Your name should be La  
Bzethia.  
BZ: No fucking way, I will NOT sound prissy!  
QB: It's okay, you can call her La Bzethia.  
Teacher: Super idea.  
BZ: No way, butt plug!  
***  
Teacher: Now find your twin.  
QB: Okay, Aly, "la comida china."  
A: Sorry, don't have it.  
QB: Marie, "la comida china?"  
M: Si, yo tengo.  
QB: "Me gusta montar en bicicleta?"  
M: Yo tengo este mas o menos.  
Teacher: Muy bien, Marìa. (Marie's Spanish name)  
M: Muchas gracias, señora. Y, ahora?  
QB: "Las chicas en mi clase estan embarrazadas." What the HELL?!  
M: Si... Yo tengo este, pero no se porque lo dice...  
QB: You're my twin, let's sit down.  
M: Muy bien, chica.  
D: Amit, "Los chicos en mi clase estan studs." I am just plain,  
full-out, gonzo confused and embarrassed at having this on my card.  
Am: Yes, I can see why. (starts laughing)  
A: Why the laughter, dear friend Amit?  
Am: What Dhani has on his card.  
A: Oh, dear Lord and Lady.  
D: "Los chicos en mi clase estan studs."  
A: Oh, dear Lord and Lady.  
S: How would you get something like THAT on your card?  
QB: Can't be worse than what Marie and I got on our cards. "Las chicas  
en mi clase estan embarrazadas." Can you say, "someone really messed  
up on these cards"?  
D: "Someone really messed up on these cards."  
QB: That's a good boy. Treats for you tonight.  
Teacher: Clase, no tenemos tiempo para mas. Adìos para hoy.  
BZ: Thank whatever god I believe in, and I'm not sure I even believe in  
any!  
(everone laughs)  
S: Bzethio, you are so cheap.  
BZ: Of course I am-wait a minute...  
QB: Everyone, gather round. Not you two. (Talking to the guys)  
Am&D: Awwwww!  
(The girls gather into a huddle and begin to whisper)  
QB: Let's attack Bzethio-Kristi, Sara, you get her from the right side.  
Aly and I will get her from the left. Marie, all you have to do is  
sweet-talk her. We all know how much you hate violence.  
M: Huh, yeah. I mean, last time I passed out from all the excitement.  
A: Wimp.  
S: Sissy.  
M: Uh!  
K: Be nice, you two.  
S: We were just kidding.  
A: Let's attack now.  
(Girls advance from either side. Marie starts talking sweetly to  
Bzethio, who obviously suspects something but is too stupid to realize that  
the girls have already taken her by the arms and have started dragging  
her to the nearest open locker. They shove her in and lock the door.  
When she realizes what has happened, she is so pissed she tries to  
blast the door down, but it is her unfortunate extreme bad luck that the  
door has been shut with Royal-All-Purpose-Super-Super-Sticky-Glue)  
BZ: (Insert vast amount of expletives here) I will get you soon  
enough, Queen Beth. And then you will regret double-crossing ME. I am El  
Bzethio, HEAR ME ROAR my somewhat pathetic little roar but at least it's  
a ROAR!!!!  
QB: Shut it, Bzethio.  
S: Famous last words of El Bzethio the Pathetic Lioness of Our Time.  
(Sarcastically) Wow, aren't we lucky to be seven hundred feet away?  
M: On with the lessons, Señora. Oh, y tienes una camiseta muy bonita  
hoy.  
Teacher: Oh, gracìas. Me gusta tus pantalones.  
M: Oh how sweet.  
THE END 


	18. Year 1987

The Gang Goes Back In Time...  
...To The Year 1987.  
  
S: I am having a bit of dèjà vù here.  
M: So am I. But, must I remind you that, quelle surprise, Bzethio  
landed us here.  
D: Speaking of that scary, scary bitch, where is she? And where is my  
Aly?  
S: Yeah, and where's Queen Beth? And Kristi?  
Am: I think I've figured out which year we're in.  
S: Which one?  
Am: Well, let's see, those kids in this Swedish daycare-that was me  
when I was about four years old. That's Marie over there, at four... And  
those two, playing side by side-three year olds Dhani and Sara. So,  
that must mean we're in the year 1987!  
S: What-say?  
M: 1987? You must be nuts. Wait-that is me. That scary child with  
all that curly blonde hair-that IS me. Oh, my...  
S: That can't be me. I never hit people!  
Am: (muttering) You wanna bet?  
(LS-Little Sara-is smashing a toy block over LD's head)  
D: Ooh. I remember that. That really hurt.  
S: Oh, scrappity-scrap-scrap, so do I--I got major time-out for that.  
M: Oh, man. I remember why I put away all my baby albums now.  
(LM is throwing a major temper tantrum at LAm)  
LM: I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you!!!!!!! You are so  
stupid you stupid stupid head!!!!  
LAm: I not stupid, you stupid, you stupid stupid stupid stupid  
head!!!!!  
M: Um, was that really us fighting?  
Am: I guess so. Because I do remember you screaming at me all the time  
in daycare.  
M: Oh goodness. I'm sorry, honey-baby.  
Am: It's okay. It was the past, you know.  
D: Oh wow, look at me now.  
(LD is clapping his hands and singing)  
LD: I am the milkman, I am the mailman, I am the milkman, I am the  
mailman, I bring you milk and I bring you mail, bring you mail, bring you  
mail, hahahahahahaha!  
LS: You no can sing you stoopy poopy head!!!  
LD: I can too sing you stoopy poopy scoopy soupy head!  
LS: I telly on you!  
LD: You go 'head, me don't care!!!  
LS: Dhani-stoopy is being stoopy!  
Daycare Person: You two behave!  
S: Good Goddess.  
D: I know.  
(LM is still yelling at LAm)  
LM: I gonna tell my mommy I don't wanna come here no more!  
LAm: I gonna tell MY mommy I don't wanna see you no more!!!  
LM: Well, I gonna tell MYYY mommy I don't wanna see YOU no more either,  
you stupid stupid stupid stupid GUY!!!!!!  
M: HEL-lo.  
Am: I can't believe my 19-year-old eyes.  
M: Neither can I.  
(D looks at clock on wall)  
D: Four o' clock. Usually that was when Mom would pick me up from  
daycare.  
M: Me too.  
Am: Same here.  
S: Well, that's 'cause they all got off work at the same time, not to  
mention the fact that they were all friends and liked to meet.  
Remember?  
M: Oh yeah.  
(Am's mom comes in, followed by M's, S's, and D's.)  
AmM: Hi honey.  
LAm: Mommyyyy! I don't wanna see HER no more!!  
AmM: Why not?  
LAm: 'Cause she yells at me!  
MM: Marie Eleonor!!  
LM: I no like him!  
MM: That doesn't mean that you can yell at him.  
LD: She hit me, Mommy! (Points at LS)  
SM: Sara Helena, we do not hit other people!  
LD: Ha!!  
DM: John...  
SM: We have to get going, Sara, we have to catch the plane to America  
in a few hours.  
LS: Amewika? Where dat? (She's got a little baby cup stuck in her  
mouth)  
SM: A very long time away. Come on, we have to get things ready to go.  
LS: Why we we go Amewika?  
SM: Because Tante Maria is having a baby.  
LS: Oh, okely-dokely-pokely-dokely-mokely-stokely-smokely-hokely...  
SM: That's enough, Sara.  
(SM and LS leave daycare)  
S: My God, were we immature!  
M: Sara, you're forgetting that we were all only three and four years  
old.  
S: Oh, yeah.  
D: So what now?  
Am: Yeah. What now?  
D: Copycat.  
Am: Liar.  
D: Stoopy-head.  
Am: Asshole.  
D: Butt munch.  
Am: Freakazoid.  
D: Nut head.  
Am: Cockroach.  
D: Uh! Cabbage brain!  
Am: Dorkmeyer!  
D: Cockatoo!  
Am: Jackass!  
D: Okay, that's it, I can't work with this guy anymore! He is  
certifiably nuts.  
Am: Am not!!  
D: Are too!  
Am: Am not!  
D: Are too!  
Am: Am NOT NOT NOT!  
D: Are TOO TOO TOO!  
S: Boys, boys, play nicely.  
M: I mean, haven't you always said that you will never be that immature  
again?  
Am: Eep.  
D: Noo.  
S: Behave now.  
M: Please. Now, what to do?  
S: BZETHIO YOU BITCH TAKE US BACK TO THE YEAR 2003 NOW!!!!  
(silence)  
S: Sorry.  
M: (pause) It's okay. Just keep yourself under control now.  
D: I wet my pants.  
Am: I wet my pants too.  
D: Copycat.  
Am: Liar!  
S: DON'T YOU EVEN START THAT SHIT AGAIN, YOU FREAKS!!!  
M: Chill out, Sara.  
S: Can't. Nerves too frazzled.  
M: Okay, okay. Now, let me see. We need to find a wormhole.  
Am: Where and how, please?  
M: Not sure yet, bebe.  
D: I want my Aly. (Pops thumb in mouth)  
S: El immaturo.  
D: Meanie.  
S: Aren't I?  
M: Sara!  
(All of a sudden they hear someone calling them. It is A's voice, as  
well as QB's.)  
QB: Marie! Amit! Dhani! Sara! Where are yall?  
A: Dhani? Sweetie, where are you?  
D: In the year 1987!  
A: WHAT?!?!  
D: Bzethio.  
QB: Argh. I'll kill that little freak.  
D: I wanna help.  
QB: Sure.  
D: Yay!  
(A and QB step out of a sudden wormhole)  
QB: Hiya!  
A: Hey howdy ho, peeps.  
M: I am so glad to see you.  
S: Apparently, so is Dhani.  
(D is hugging A with all his might)  
A: Hon, you're choking me.  
D: Sorry! Me so glad to see my baby!  
A: I'm glad to see you too, hon.  
QB: Okay, now come home with us and tell us all about it.  
(Back at castle in 2003)  
M: We saw ourselves as babies, before Aly was born.  
S: Yeah, we were screaming at each other and everything. Talk about  
immature.  
Am: Yeah, we were kinda freaked when we saw that. Especially since...  
M: Especially since I was yelling at Amit, and Sara and Dhani were  
screamin' at each other.  
D: Weird.  
Am: Yes.  
A: Well, at least it's over now.  
QB: We gotta catch Bzethio.  
S: I'll kick her ass, let me at her!  
M: Sara?  
S: Noo. 


	19. PDA Trouble

The School Daze Saga: PDA Trouble  
In which our two couples engage in some serious PDA breaking-yes, that  
entails a hell of a lot of making out.  
QB: Ew! Would you guys please just go get a room somewhere?  
S: A hotel room would be preferable.  
D: You my baby.  
A: Okay, honey.  
Am: Come here, love kitten, you with the delicious butt.  
M: I'm all yours, sweetie-lovie-honey-poo.  
S: They're not listening.  
QB: Do they ever, in these situations?  
S: They like making out.  
QB: We'll have to pull them off of each other soon.  
S: Oh, hell, no!  
QB: Oh, hell, yes! We don't want to get in any more trouble with the  
school.  
S: This is trouble?  
QB: How much blonde do you have in your head, Sara? They're breaking  
the PDA right now! PDA stands for public display of affection.  
S: Then wouldn't that be PDOA?  
QB: Shut up! Anyways, they're making out, that's a public display of  
affection, and there are some really harsh penalties for not heeding the  
PDA.  
S: Like what?  
QB: Serious detention time, suspension, in-school suspension, box,  
clean up duty, you get the picture. We just can't afford to put Dhani in  
any more trouble, and Marie would go ballistic if she were to be trapped  
in box or in-school.  
S: Too true.  
M: Be my Romeo, melt my toes with affection and looooove.  
Am: Be my Juliet, say my name over and over and over and over and over  
again.  
D: I'm gonna kiss you till your lips fall off.  
A: I'll be hangin' on you the entire time, lovaboy.  
S: (Shudder, shudder) Gross!  
QB: Lovers. What can I say?  
(Enter Chibi)  
C: Oooh, kissy-kissy facies!  
QB: Chibi, what are you doing in here? This is inappropriate for  
children your age!  
C: Me no go no where Queenie weenie, me go watch love stuff as much as  
me want.  
S: Oh, my Goddess, QB, stop her!  
QB: No can do, Sara.  
(Enter Bzethio)  
BZ: Damn, there be some major love action going here.  
QB: Up-shut!  
S: Get out of here!  
BZ: Kissy-wissy!  
A: (breaking away from D) These on your face can kiss this on my body.  
(Pointing to her lips and her ass, then going back to kissing D.)  
BZ: Diiieeeeeeeeeee!  
QB: Not while they're makin' out, BZ.  
BZ: Damn you!  
S: Up yours, Bitchie-Butt-Coconut.  
(Silence except for the ever-present sound of smooching)  
S: Sorry, had to get the cheezies out. F*** off right this instant,  
dumbf***!  
M: (stops kissing Am) Sara! You go to the bathroom right this instant  
and wash your mouth out with soap, or I will get up from this chair of  
love and make-out and drag you in there myself! You don't use language  
like that!  
S: (sarcastically) Yes, mother dearest.  
M: Thank you. (Goes back to kissing Am)  
S: We can't stop these crazy couples.  
QB: Have we ever been able to?  
S: Good point. But the trouble we'll get into here at school?  
QB: Pull 'em apart!!!  
(S and QB run and attack the kissing couples. No dice.)  
S: Shit, they're stuck like glue!  
QB: They always are.  
(Enter the teacher)  
S: Criznap!!!  
Teacher: And what is this? PDA breaking?  
QB: We were trying to get them to stop, but they're not listening.  
Teacher: I'll get some bouncers to help break them up.  
(In principal's office)  
S: Holy shiznit and revered criznap, we've done it again.  
QB: Thank you so much, you guys.  
(D and A are still kissing. Am and M are sitting quietly, holding  
hands and M is very, very, very, very pale, and looks as if she wants to  
scream)  
M: I can't believe we broke PDA.  
Am: I can't believe that Dhani and Aly are STILL breaking PDA.  
D: And who needs the world when I've got you?  
A: Nobody, nobody. Mmmmm. (Kiss, smooch, kiss)  
Am: (Groan, groan) Stop them, someone.  
(Enter the principal)  
S: (Muttered) Criznap.  
Principal: Well, well, well, PDA breakers, are we?  
(D and A seem not to hear)  
Principal: We have places for people like you. Miss Serneholt and Mr.  
Paul. You (points to M) will be in Janitor service for a week, and you  
(points to Am) will be in box. Miss Lumholdt, you will be be in  
detention, same to you, Miss Beth, just for a week, because you did not  
report this.  
S: Maaaaan!  
Principal: And the two who are not responding to this, they won't be  
coming to school for a few days.  
M: (gasp) Suspension?  
Principal: Yes, Miss Serneholt, suspension. You may go.  
(Leaving the principal's office)  
QB: Well, that helped.  
(D and A are still smooching while walking)  
M: Don't they ever learn?  
QB: Nah, doubt it.  
C: Ha ha, troublies for youzies!  
BZ: Shut it, Duchess Pokes-A-Lot!  
C: Uh! No you call me that no more you stupid ass bitchie witchie!  
BZ: It's such a wonderful talent isn't it?  
QB: Oh, shut your trap or I'll send you to Hifl. 


	20. Primitive Times

The Gang Goes Back In Time  
Part 2: Primitive Times  
D: Bad day, bad day, bad day!!! (I got this from "Jackie Chan  
Adventures")  
(D is running like hell from BZ, who has a cleaving knife in her hand)  
BZ: I'll kill you, blondie, if it's the last thing I do!!!  
D: I want my Aly! (Sticks thumb in mouth)  
BZ: You'll be sorry you ever stepped on me, you little bastard!  
D: Bad day, bad day, bad day, bad day, bad day, bad day!!!!!!  
BZ: I'm gonna- (Steps over a large hole) Oh shit.  
Eyaaaaaaaaahahahahahaaa! (Falls down hole, landing with a loud thump at  
the bottom of  
the pit)  
D: (sigh) I'm glad that's over.  
(D wakes up giggling)  
D: Bzethio go down the hoooooooole! Heeheehee!  
A: (groggily) Wha- Dhani, go back to sleep.  
D: Had a funny dream. Not funny at first, me be chased by BZ bitchie,  
and she had cleaving knife in hand, waving it roundy roundy like  
madwoman gone crazy.  
A: Huh?  
D: Then she go down the hooooooole! Heeheehee! Me likey dream ending  
like that, is fun to see face of BZ bitchie.  
A: Go back to sleep.  
D: Okees! (Turns over and closes eyes)  
A: (sigh) Men.  
D: Me heard that.  
A: (big sigh) Go to sleep, honey.  
(The next morning, they wake up and find themselves in a cave)  
A: What the hell?!  
D: What you say that for, baby?  
A: We're in a cave!  
D: Mommy.  
A: Queen Beth, are you here somewhere? We're in a cave and we don't  
have a Goddess-almighty clue how the hell we got here!  
QB: Wha- why is it so damn dark? It's morning, isn't it?  
M: It would be if we weren't in this cave thing!!!  
QB: Cave?!? Oh, shit! Bzethioooooo!!  
M: Not the time machine again...  
S: (waking up, groan, groan) Mrrrrr. Wha? Where's the sun at?  
M: Bzethio stole it.  
S: Let's go kick ass.  
QB: We need to find our way out of this cave first.  
M: There's an opening that way, dearies.  
D: Leeeeeet's GO!  
A: Chill out, baby.  
Am: I think I want my mommy, I think I want my binkie*, I think I want  
my Marie, I think I want... (stomach growling) food.  
M: Okay, honey, I think we all get the point.  
Am: Okely dokely smokely pokely.  
(Silence)  
S: What on Earth was that?!?  
M: That was Amit trying to be a brave boy.  
S: Okay then. On we go.  
(The Gang run out of the cave to find themselves in a barren field. QB  
looks puzzled and then realizes where they are)  
QB: You guys are not gonna like where Bzethio sent us this time.  
M: Oh no.  
QB: Primitive times. We're in Primitive times.  
S: What?!?!?! That means, like, absolutely no civilization!  
D: What? No McDonald's?!?!  
Am: No Dairy Queen?  
M: No Banana Republic? FALSE ADVERTISING!!!  
QB: Huh?  
M: They said they'd always been here! LIARS!!!  
Am: Chill bebe.  
M: That makes me so MAD! Argh!!!  
Am: Hey, let's ask that guy over there where to find the time machine.  
(Points at a guy squatting down on the ground, sharpening a spear on a  
stone)  
S: Um, let's not.  
(The Gang starts roaming around until they hit a wormhole)  
QB: (amidst the whirlwind) I hope this leads to a civilized place.  
M: Me too.  
(YOU FINISH!!!!)  
*Amit does actually have a binkie, it's this old blanket he had as a  
baby. 


	21. Road Trip Hollywood

Road Trip, Anyone? On To Hollywood!  
D: Are we there yet?  
M: No.  
D: Are we there yet?  
M: No.  
D: Are we there yet?  
M: NO!!  
D: (Whiny, little kid voice) Where are we going?  
Am: We're going to Hollywood, Dhani. Be patient. Come on, you've  
always wanted to go to Hollywood.  
D: I don't like being trapped in the car.  
(QB has had enough whining)  
QB: Shut your trap, Dhani! Just sit there and be quiet for the love of  
everything holy and truthful.  
BZ: (from the back) Which is nothing.  
QB: (turning around) Shut up, you.  
S: Really, like you know anything, BZ-Bitchie.  
BZ: Diiieeee!!  
S: No way. Why the hell don't you?!  
Am: Good one, Sara.  
S: Thank you.  
Am: You're welcome.  
A: OK, we're in-what the?!  
(They're almost literally in the middle of nowhere)  
QB: Marie, where are we?  
M: We're coming through Littleton, California. We're like eighty miles  
from the Hollywood border.  
D: That be good to know.  
S: What is that supposed to mean?  
A: Just that-it's good to know that we're going through Littleton,  
California right now.  
S: Um, okay.  
M: Stop that incessant chatter.  
(Silence)  
M: Oh, never mind.  
QB: Okay, then.  
BZ: This sucks.  
S: Everything sucks around you, Bzethio.  
BZ: That's EL Bzethio to you, dipshit!  
S: Diiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!  
M: Chill out back there. I can't drive with you guys screaming at each  
other like that.  
BZ: Good!  
S: Shut up!  
BZ: Why don't you?  
S: 'Cause I'm above you, El Dorkio.  
A: Chill, you two.  
D: I want food.  
S: You always want food.  
D: I'm hungry!  
A: We know, hon, and we know because you're ALWAYS hungry.  
D: Oh. Oopsies.  
Am: Are we there yet?  
M: No.  
Am: Are we there yet?  
M: No.  
Am: Are we there yet?  
M: NO!!!  
Am: Eep. Noo. Yipies.  
S: We know, Amit.  
A: Famous mantra.  
M: Aly!  
A: Sorry. Had to get that out.  
D: Okay, baby.  
M: We're on the border to Hollywood now. 


	22. Salem Witch Trials

The Gang Goes Back To... The Salem Witch Trials!!!  
Am: So where are we now?  
A: Looks like Salem, Massechusetts. Oh shit!  
QB: What?  
A: She sent us back to the Salem Witch Trials!  
D: Well, that means she's a witch herself, right? Lead her to the  
ropes!!!  
(cricket, silence)  
D: WHAT are you LOOKING at me for NOW??!  
A: Um, honey, you had caffiene, didn't you?  
D: Yupsy yupsy!!  
QB: God help us all.  
D: Hang her, bang her, make her bleed! Stab her, jab her, make her  
plead! Snip her, clip her, pull out all her hair! Soon Bzethio will  
scream in despair!!  
S: Dhani, shh!  
M: They'll hear you!  
D: So? Stomp her, chomp her, cut her into chunks! Smash her, crash  
her, send her to the monks! Eat her, beat her, make her cry! Cook her,  
snook her, put her in a fry!  
A: Dhani? Shut it, please!!  
D: Pinch her, cinch her, make the bone show-  
M: EW!  
D: Scrunch her, munch her, make her UP-BLOW! -hehe, just tryin' to make  
it rhyme in time, tee hee- Teach her, leech her, tie her to the stake!  
Soon Bzethio will a stew make!!!  
M: Dhani, that's disgusting!  
A: (dryly) He knows that. Don't even try to tell him.  
QB: Someone, shut that ass up!  
Am: (a squeaky voice) He'll blow our cover.  
D: Trap her in the quarry, make her really sorry, put her in the jails,  
make her eat some snails! Shoot her with a bow, 'cause she's gotta go,  
trap her in a cave, make her wax not shave, tell her she's a bitch,  
'cause she's the wicked witch, send her back in time, the Black Death...  
bla bla bla...  
QB: Um... I'm not really understanding...  
A: Don't worry, he'll run out of rhymes eventually.  
S: Not soon enough. Look!  
(A big gang of villagers, mostly men, are coming towards them on  
horseback)  
QB: Oh, shit!  
A: And look who's with tem!  
(BZ is riding in their midst)  
M: What's SHE doing with them?!?  
Am: I want my Marie. (Pops thumb in mouth)  
M: I'm right here, bebe. (Wraps arms around him)  
D: I want my Aly, no not Sally, not Hallie, not Callie, hell, I want my  
Aly!!!  
A: Cool it with the rhyme, love of mine.  
D: Noo.  
BZ: There they are! Arrest them!  
M: No, no, nooooo!  
QB: You can't arrest me, I'm the Queen!  
Villager: Yeah, and I'm th' King Edward himself! Come on, off with ye!  
(Prods QB)  
S: Where are you taking us?  
Villager: To the prison, o' course. What else would we do with ye?  
S: May I suggest a nice hotel? Or at least a cottage?  
Villager: What for? So's you can work more a yer magic spells, eh?  
Eh?  
M: With all due respect, you've terrible manners.  
Villager: Eh, all us unmarried blokes do. Sorry, marm.  
M: My name isn't marm, it's Marie Eleonor Serneholt. I am from  
Stockholm, Sweden, and I am nearly twenty years of age. I can sing, play  
flute, and drive.  
Villager: Drive what? Spirits into other's souls?  
M: What? No! I'd never do anything of the kind!  
Villager: Yeah, an' that's the Devil 'imself talking.  
M: Devil? I'd surely know if I'd a Devil in me, sir.  
S: Marie, I'd shut my mouth if I were you.  
M: I am a dignified young 21st century lady, and proud of it. Yes,  
proud of it.  
S: Marie, hush.  
M: I will not hush!!  
QB: Sorry, Marie, had to do this. (pricks her with a needle. M goes  
into a trancelike state)  
S: (sigh) Thank you.  
QB: No problem.  
Am: I scared.  
D: I more scared.  
QB: (moan, sigh) A Queen shouldn't have to be humiliated like this.  
S: When we get out of this, we'll compensate for it later. Promise.  
A: How, Sara?  
S: We'll give her a major makeover.  
QB: Mmm, makeover.  
M: (groan) Makeover?  
S: Oh, shit, do it again!  
QB: (pricks needle)  
M: Ow! Zzz.  
S: Thanks.  
QB: No problemo. Now, let me think of a way to get out of this.  
S: Too late, we're at the jail already.  
A: Damn! Queen Beth, Dhani just fainted right into me!  
QB: Chill, we'll lay him down when we get inside.  
(They go inside)  
A: Eww! It's reeking in here!  
M: (wakes up) Why does it smell like pooies?  
S: 'Cause we're at the jail.  
M: WHAT?!  
S: Quick, the needle!  
QB: Okay, once more. (Sticks it in)  
M: I resent that. (Goes into trance)  
QB: (sigh) I'll never get used to this.  
D: (waking up) It smelly worse than jelly in a celly welly delly.  
A: Oh good Goddess.  
Am: We're in a jail, dumb-f***.  
D: Uh! Me no like you no more!  
(The Gang goes into the cell)  
A: Ew! The smell is rife in here!  
Villager: Find somewhere to sit, witches.  
QB: (muttering) Damn.  
S: I second that.  
QB: We know.  
A: So what now?  
S: Hell if I know.  
QB: Ditto.  
S: Don't you copy off of me, Queen Dorkmeyer.  
QB: Oh, you are SO going to Hifl for that!  
A: Sara, you having never been to Hifl will be shocked and amazed at  
the wonder and beauty of the dungeons.  
(complete silence)  
S: You so crazy!  
A: Me know!  
QB: Anyway, I need to think. (Sits down)  
(Squishing noise)  
S: Oh, ew, what was that!  
QB: I think I just sat in someone's shitpile.  
D: Worse than me in a diaper.  
A: Dhani!!!  
D: Sorry. But, hey, you remember how much I stunk when BZ turned us  
all into babies.  
S: Don't remind us.  
QB: Why is it always me these stupid things happen to?  
A: And why is it always Bzethio who makes it all happen to you?  
QB: Good question. Hmmmm... 


	23. Sara Gets Dumped

From The Twisted Mind Of Aly  
Sara Gets Dumped  
S: HE DUMPED ME!!! HE HAD THE ALMIGHTY NERVE TO TELL ME IT'S OVER!!!!  
D: I better get out of the way.  
A: Damn right, you'd better get out of the way!  
S: I SHALL DESTROY ALL WHO CROSS MY PATH!!!! (storms off)  
(In the hallway. Sesshomaru is minding his own business-uh-oh, this  
sounds familiar-walking to the kitchen to get something to eat, when  
along comes Sara...)  
SS: What the hell!  
(Sesshomaru is strung up to a wall torch by the strings on his  
sweatpants)  
SS: A little help here!  
B: Sara, why did you do that?  
A: Better not talk to her, she's pissed off right now.  
B: Why?  
A: That wonderful boyfriend of hers just dumped her for another chick.  
B: Oh, bad boy. 


	24. Sesshomaru Gets Depantsed

From the Twisted Mind of Aly  
Sesshomaru Gets Depantsed  
(Sesshomaru is just minding his own business, walking down the palace  
halls. Along comes Inuyasha, who, horror of all horrors-depantses him  
in front of Dhani, Amit, Sara and Aly.)  
SS: Oh GOD YOU LIL BASTARD!!  
S: Gasp no!  
A: Inuyasha!!  
D: Damn you!!! You're going to set-  
Am: NOOOOOO NOT THE KNICKERS!!  
D: Amit off. Shit.  
Am: KNICKERS NOOOOOOOOOOOOO PLEASE NO NOT THE KNICKERS NO I BEG OF YOU  
PLEASE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
(Marie and Beth enter)  
M: What's all the screaming about?  
B: Sesshy, wh are your pants down?  
SS,A,D,S: IT'S HIS FAULT!!! (pointing to Inuyasha)  
M: Yash, I'm surprised at you!  
Inu: He deserves it!  
Am: NO NO NOOOOOO!! NOT THE KNICKERS DON'T PULL DOWN THE KNICKERS I  
DON'T WANT TO SEE ARSE!!!!!  
B: (Groan) Shut him up, please.  
M: Amit, honey...  
Am: No no no no no no more no more no knickers no arse no no no no  
no... (Shaking head very fast) Nonononono...  
M: (to SS) PULL UP THOSE DAMN PANTS BEFORE MY HUSBAND COMPLETELY BREAKS  
DOWN!!!  
SS: (frozen) She swears.  
S: (in a small voice) History, my friends, has been made...  
M: Shut up SHUT UP SHUT. UP!!  
B: Whoaaa.  
A/N: This section rated MP for Marie's Pottimouthedness!  
M: You want me to swear?! FINE!! (hysterical) Damn, shit, fuck,  
bitch, ass, bastard, cunt, cum, slut, whore!!!  
(Silence)  
M: Shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT!!! Damn it all to hell, fuck fuck  
fuck!!!  
Am: Um, Marie?  
M: Little ass-fuckin' bitch bastard shit!  
B: (into headset) CC number one F.  
Am: Damn code bugs me.  
B: Here. (pricks Marie)  
M: (sigh) Thanks.  
B: No prob. SESSHOMARU-pants UP!!  
Am: No knickers, no knickers!!! 


	25. Sesshomaru's Woes

From the Twisted Mind of Aly  
SESSHOMARU'S WOES  
D: Beth?  
B: Huh?  
D: Why is Sesshomaru dancing around in the nude screaming and twisting  
his knickers?  
B: WHAT?!  
SS: I. CAN'T. TAKE. THIS. ANYMORE!!!!!  
B: Sesshy?  
SS: (ripping his boxers in half) GET CHIBI OUT OF MY ROOM!!!!!! I AM  
NOT A BABYSITTER AND EVEN IF I WANTED TO BE, I WOULDN'T HAVE THE  
PATIENCE FOR IT!!!  
M: Why the hello is Sesshomaru tearing up his knickers?  
Am: NO ARSE NOOOOOOOOO!!!  
A: Someone get Sesshomaru into some clothes, PUR-LEASE!!!  
S: (coming into hallway and stopping) Oh. My. Goddess. Why do I see  
Sesshomaru out of his clothes?  
B: He's having a bit of a breakdown.  
D: (mumbling) A bit? How 'bout he's having a huuuge fit?  
A: Shush.  
D: Noo.  
SS: (ripping his boxers even more) ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHH DEATH TO THE  
EVIL ONES!!!!  
Am: Bzethio and Drake?  
SS: BURN 'EM ALL!!!!  
D: I need a diaper change.  
Am: Eep.  
S: (smacking both) Get a grip on yourselves!  
M: Sara...  
A: Um, Beth, can you please try to calm your loverly husbandly lover  
down?!  
B: I'm trying.  
SS: I HAVE TO BE THE MAN AROUND HERE!!! Wimpy blonde-boy  
and ribcage afraid-of-my-knickers are of age to be men, yet they don't  
act like men.  
D: Eep.  
Am: Who you callin' ribcage afraid-of-my-knickers?!  
M: Hush, hush, hush!  
Am: Noo.  
SS: (in anguish grasps his you-know-what) EURRRRRRRGHHHHH!!!  
S: Eeewww, put some clothes on!  
SS: CLOTHES ARE...  
B: Sesshy, Sesshy, shhhh. It's okay. Come to our room and you can  
vent there.  
SS: Okee.  
(B leads SS off)  
A: Well that was easy.  
S: I'll bet we'll be able to hear him anyway.  
SS: (from room) WUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAHAAAAAA!!!!!!  
S: Yep. I knew it. 


	26. The Sixties Skit

The Gang Finds Themselves In...  
The Sixties  
Am: Stupid bitch.  
S: Damn it!  
A: Oh shit.  
M: Here we go again.  
D: I want my Aly.  
A: Dhani, I'm right here!!  
D: Yay! (Grabs on)  
QB: I'll kill BZ.  
C: Where are we, Queen Beth?  
QB: Dunno, but it looks like we're in the sixties, by the styles.  
(Someone walks by in a tube catsuit)  
M: What am I wearing?!  
(She's in a corseted tube top and tight skirt with high top boots and  
wild makeup)  
Am: Hot, hot, hot, HOT DAMN, Marie!  
M: Amit!!!  
A: Look at this dress! (Wearing a flower print tightsuit dress)  
D: Hot cha CHA!  
S: You think THAT'S BAD? Look at me!! (Wearing a ruffled shortsleeve  
blouse and purple bellbottom pants and moccasins)  
C: Me wearing weird pants!  
QB: Who thought of these tight leather jackets, jeans, and jiggelos?  
(Jiggelos are high topped sandals)  
S: (bursts into laughter) Look at the guys! Flower print Hawaiian  
shirt and flare jeans on Amit and Elvis-ish jacket and pants on Dhani!  
And their HAIR! (laughing)  
Am: Hey, hey, don't badmouth the hair!  
(Hair slicked out like Elvis)  
(The girls can't stop laughing)  
C: Weirdo weirdo weir-do!! (Points at D)  
D: Uh! Me no talk to you no more you meanie poo butt in weird jeanies!  
A: Dhani, talk in a voice a sensible almost-19-year-old would use.  
D: Oopsie, meeza in trouble.  
A: (sigh heavily) Suit yourself.  
M: Well?  
QB: Well what?  
M: WHAT NOW?  
QB: Chill.  
S: No, she's right. I want to be back where I don't have to wear  
clothes like this!  
QB: We'll figure something out.  
D: (In a very small voice) I need new underwear.  
S: Ew, sick, DHANIIIII!!!!  
A: He can't help it, he's scared.  
C: Ooooo, he scared, he scared!! Hahaha!  
A: C'mere, Hani-Boy.  
D: Thanks Aly.  
S: Well? Are we thinking about how to get our ot here?  
QB: When do I ever?  
S: (pause) Good point.  
Am: I want to shimmy and a half turn, stay alive, an' dance dance dance  
till half-past five!  
(silence)  
M: Sweetie, are you okay? Has all that hair gel gone to your brain?  
S: Yes, I would be worried about him if I were you.  
M: Hush up, Sara!  
QB: Hey, let's all of us just calm down.  
D: Calm down?? Me?? Are you NUTS?? When do I ever calm down, huh?  
Tell me that!!  
(Silence)  
C: Chill out, blonde boy with soiled boxers.  
M&A: Chibi!!  
Am: Point me to the nearest disco!! (Dancing)  
A: Disco? This is the sixties. Disco is seventies.  
Am: (Disappointed, starts drooping) Awww.  
S: Yes, I know, it's disappointing, isn't it?  
D: Ehhh...  
C: Hey, look, wormhole!!!  
All: Huhhh?? (Looks up.)  
C: Gotchaaa!!! Hehehehehehehe.  
All: Chibiiii!  
D: Stopyaaa, me a scaredy ass munch!!  
C: Ohhoho, we all know that, blondie baby boy.  
A: Diieeeeeeeeeee!!!!  
M: Chill.  
A: Oops.  
Am: Almost a catfight, there.  
C: Disco is dead, cabbage-head.  
Am: I want to kill someone who helped kill disco.  
M: Amit, SHUT YOUR TRAP ABOUT IT!!!  
Am: Eep, noo, yipies.  
M: (sigh) Urrrghhh.  
S: La di diddly bla da.  
D: This doesn't make any sense.  
QB: Do our misadventures EVER make any sense?  
D: Oh, um, no, you're right, yeah, uh-huh.  
QB: Hey, I'm always right!  
S: Yeah, you of all people should KNOW that by now.  
D: Up-shutzies.  
S: Hiiii-ya!  
D: Owwwwiiies! Me in painy-wainy.  
A: Sara! Don't you ever hurt my sweet little naïve... pooper scooper  
like that again.  
S: (snort) Pooper scooper?  
A: Shut up.  
M: (giggling) Pooper scooper. That's a new one.  
A: (Blushing red) I was at a loss for words, so sue me.  
D: I will tonight, my little pooper-scooper-dooper.  
A: Oh my Lord and Lady.  
Am: Ew, ew, bad image in brain, bad image in brain!!!  
QB: Okay, let's see... How to get out of this?  
M: Mortally maim BZ.  
S: No, kill BZ. Chop her apart with a meat cleaver.  
M: No no no no no no (in French) non non non non non...  
S: Fermez le bouche, Marie. (Trans.-shut up.)  
(M and S start babbling in French)  
A: (aside to Dhani) Miss' on keska... (Trans.-That's it, then)  
QB: Quit it with the foreign languages!!! I can't take it anymore!  
(All silent)  
QB: Thank you.  
C: I not kid you this time, machine-over there.  
QB: By George and Georgina, you're right!!  
C: Machine there-get in, we go back home!  
A: THEN we find BZ and mortally wound her.  
M: Good call, chiquitita.  
A: Yerps.  
M: Say what?  
A: Never mind.  
(All pile into the machine and take themselves back to the present)  
S: Ahh, that's better. (Looking down at her tank top and jeans)  
QB: Now, to find BZ. (Punches fist into palm three times)  
BZ: (From behind pillar) Noo.  
D: There she is! Pound her!  
BZ: Eyaaaah!!! Don't kill me please I beg of you!!!!  
QB: You don't understand Bzethio.  
S: Yeah. The fun is just beginning.  
BZ: Eep.  
END SKIT. 


	27. That Looks Wrong

That Looks Wrong!!!  
D: Damn, that looks one hell of wrong!!  
(BZ is twisted way out of shape)  
A: Bzethio, what are you doing?  
BZ: It's called yoga, you blinkhole!  
A: That is so not yoga. Marie does yoga. Hang on. MARIE!!!  
M: WHAT?!?!  
A: COULD YOU COME DOWN HERE AND TELL US IF WHAT BZETHIO IS DOING RIGHT  
NOW IS ACTUALLY YOGA OR NOT?  
M: SURE!  
(M comes down to BZ's VIP room in Hifl)  
A: Now, is that yoga BZ's doing?  
M: No, not unless she's been taught by some creepy-minded instructor.  
QB: So who taught you yoga, Bzethio?  
BZ: Nobody. Just me and my instructional tapes down here.  
M: Well, those instructional tapes are sure as hey wrong.  
BZ: Hey, don't badmouth the instructional tapes!!!  
QB: Let me see those tapes. (picks up a tape) Okay, let's see. "Yoga  
for the Bad Guys." Yep, it's right, all right, except it's just not  
the Good Guys way of doing yoga.  
BZ: Damn straight. I will not be caught looking prissy.  
D: But you will be caught looking as if you're about to do it with the  
next butthole who comes by? OW!!!! (BZ has thrown a shoe at him)  
That hurt, you stupid idiot!  
A: Dhani, would you please calm down?  
D: Oopees, me do bad thingie again.  
QB: As the Queen, I hereby forbid the doing of any morbid yoga but the  
true yoga. Marie, if you'd be so kind as to duplicate your own yoga  
tapes and bring them down so that this uninlightened bitch may learn for  
herself?  
M: Of course.  
BZ: I will not be caught looking like a prissy sissy!!!  
Am: Ha, ha, too bad for you!  
BZ: Up yours, asshole!  
Am: Uh!  
M: Cool it, both of you!  
C: Prissy wissy sissy BZ!!  
BZ: Diieeeeeeeeeee!!!!  
QB: Why don't you? (Presses button and BZ falls down a trapdoor)  
M: Ooh, that's going to hurt when she reaches the bottom. 


End file.
